Hey Extroverts!

Do you ever have a day when the food of an extrovert (people) turns rotten? Totally unexpectedly you find yourself sitting there being drained by the existence of humans. You realize that no one can understand what you feel, because you are extrovert and it would be too diffcult for them to perceive you outside of that box. Nope? Me either...or maybe it happened today.

I didn't see it coming. It just snuck up on me. I was working in the Welcome Center around lots of people throughout the afternoon and slowly, but surely the energy ebbed away. Before I knew it the place was mostly empty and so was I. I was frozen in that chair and in that room. I knew I needed to go home, but I couldn't. I called Kelly, but she didn't answer, and I was somewhat relieved because I knew I could squeeze a little bit more "quiet time" in before heading home. I continued to sit there... frozen. I wanted to drive somewhere, walk through the woods, sit by a lake... or sit in front of the computer... anything alone.

It was sudden.
It was wierd.

Finally, I went home. Very, very late.

And there were the kids. And there was Kelly. And they gave me life. They filled me right back up. I wished I would have been able to move myself sooner, but maybe I need the extra hour plus. I really hope this doesn't become a trend. It could really hamper my people filled lifestyle.

What if half way through life your mind just changed... it's mind. What if it decided to flip your needs/wants and you become the opposite of what you had always been (introver to extrover or vice versa). Sometimes the body/mind scares me, because it can really do whatever it wants.

I'm still an extrovert.

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New Hope Community OR "I was changed"

Since the last week of December I have been preaching on Sundays (and a couple Saturdays) at New Hope Community in Boardman/Youngstown. Their pastor left in November and Dr. Downs asked me to help bridge the gap and preach for at least month. At first I said no, feeling a little overwhelmed with the other demands in life lately. After Kelly and I spoke about it a little more and committed some prayer to it we decided to call back and say yes.

It has been a blessing.

I love this community of "everyday life missionaries" living out their faith in Northeast Ohio. My second week preaching there they voted on a new pastoral family and confirmed their call to Adam and Jackie Stevens. When I said yes I knew that they were considering Adam and Jackie and this made it ever more appealing to me. I learned so much about preparing the way for a new pastor through this experience. Every week I felt like God opened my eyes to the next thing to share.

I started by preaching on Christian Community (go figure), specifically about how God CALLS US into Christian community. Throughout Scripture this is the case. It is at the initiation of God and the response of us. Paul Hanson speaks about this a lot in his book "The People Called".

I also touched on how it is a GIFT from God, and not something that is guaranteed. Dietrich Bonhoeffer spoke about this a lot in Life Together, as he reflected on his experiences in Christian Community after it was stripped away as he was isolated in prison.

The next few weeks we journeyed through Ephesians 4:1-16 and unpacked what it takes to live in Christian Community. We really focused on Ephesians 4:2, which the Lord has been bringing to my mind every time I am about to go off on someone lately... it's been very helpful. "Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love." Those words seem so simple and trite, but when you really dwell on them and apply them to the way we treat one another it is easy to see how the practice of that verse can lead to very healthy Christian Community. This verse has changed me and I hope it continues to.

I continued on through that passage over the next couple of weeks and discussed our need to celebrate what we have in common and to fulfill the functions/roles we are gifted and called to do within the body of believers. The last message from that passage discussed the results of the first 11 verses and what a united, fully functioning, celebratory community of believer would look like to those around them.

Two weeks about I went back and spoke about practical ways to develop Christian Community (like my favorite of eating with one another) and loving one another. Finally, this week I preached about loving our neighbors in the way of the Good Samaritan.

For some reason I can't really summarize how amazing this experience was for me personally and for that church body and I together. I'm not satisfied with this attempt to describe it's impact on myself or them. This is a good summary of what I was led to share, but hopefully I can express the impact of this time more adequately in another post.

Instead I will summarize my feelings about this experience with some simple words of Jayber Crow, "I was changed".

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The End of a Fast

CURRENTLY READING: Jayber Crow, by Wendell Berry

My Master's Thesis/Culmination Project in the Fall of 07-Spring of 08 drained me. It removed me from all writing, talking, sharing and even reading... unless it was for the project. I loved the project, but when it was done I had read enough books and written enough words to feel drained from both exercises. So I entered a fast. Not really a fast of discipline or one that brings honor to God necessarily... just a removal of a specific action from my life, or actions perhaps.
1) Reading
2) Writing (save for a Facebook post or Tweet)

Now, in all honesty I thought it would only last a couple months, or at the most 3-4, but it has been almost 1 1/2 years now and I am feeling the effects. My newish job as the Director of Admissions at my Alma Mater has made personal time hard to come by. Not a critique or complaint, just an honest observation, especially when my job is combined with my insatiable desire for community (which we have pursued at length here). Although time in community is "personal time", it is more about the investment in relationships than in oneself (although I am aware of how we sharpen one another).

The last 6 months I have become appalled at my fast, but incapable of ending it. I have slowly picked through Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry over the past year and a half. I think it was given to me as a graduation gift in fact. I actually LOVE this book and it is the object that compels me to write today, but I just couldn't remain consistent for more than 2-3 days or 1-2 chapters. As 2009 comes to an end I am sad to say that I have not grown very much personally in the past year. I have grown professionally in several ways, which I am sure are necessary, but my mind and spirit have felt somewhat weak to me and unchallenged... until lately.

Several relationships and gatherings of Christ-followers have stirred me this semester and confronted me with my current state of spiritual and mental slumber. I began leading a small group on campus of 7 amazing and honest guys (Ben, Joe, Tyler, Sam, Josh, Joe and Joel). We began meeting with 2 other couples (Kellers and Byrds) for a new expression of house church (a third family has joined us at times as well). We attend West Side Naz and are very committed to our relationship and weekly gathering with the Petersons (even when we are out of town on Sundays so often). In addition to this my other college roommates have been around much more frequently. Eric's new job allows him to stop by and pop in more often and Mark is staying with us for a couple weeks helping me out with some much needed projects in the office. They both naturally challenge me simply by their presence, just as they constantly did throughout all 4 years of college. The beauty of all this is I share each of these relationships with Kelly. We are sharpened by the same swords and challenged by the same friends. I love that about us. We truly are in this together.

So, why do I write? For myself. To get this confession written out. To hold myself accountable. To write it so Kelly will read it and know more clearly where I am and where I am hopefully heading. To share with anyone else who is still listening and explain the silence that has graced this page. To have at least a little creative output and write down words for my jumbled thoughts. Finally, to reactivate this page as a place I can share what I am learning through my reading...maybe just for Kelly and I this time, or maybe for others who may see that RSS feed turn back to bold...maybe this is the only post for the next year... hopefully not.

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