I Write in Books

I write in books. I underline phrases and sentences that are significant or move me or even move the story, so that I can find them later. I put a star on my favorite pages to catch my eye. I put a line down both sides or the outside edge of beautiful or meaningful paragraphs. I write words or short phrases that will catch my attention if I am flipping through looking for a specific passage, or simply want to review my favorite parts.

Things like, "Community", "The Call", "University", "Death", "Water", "War"

I love books. I love how they look on big shelves or an end table or my desk. I love how their presence seems to draw you to them at times, reminding you that there is more than TV or video games. When I buy one, I buy it for a reason. I am not flippant and put a lot of consideration into my choices, because I know I will most likely keep it forever. I have no intention of selling my books or discarding them, so I see no reason to not write in them. In fact, I wish my grandfather and father and ancient relatives would have written in their books. I see it as a way of passing on our personalities, out thoughts, our reactions to others...whether that be a friend we hand the book to or our offspring.

When one of my close Point Loma friends (Jimmy) died his mother gave a couple of his books to one of our friends (Eric). Eric and I sat down one night and he showed me this gift Jimmy left behind. Jimmy didn't just underline, earmark or highlight... he WROTE. He wrote all over his books and I loved it. You could see his personality popping off the page. You could hear him saying the words. You could sense his excitement, or disdain with the author. It was one of the closest connections I have felt with him sense he died, and it changed the way I read, and wrote in books.

The awkward thing about writing my thoughts and insights about Jayber Crow in the book, or on here, is that I feel that I am somehow offending old Wendell Berry. In the front of the book, before the table of contents there is a page that says this:

NOTICE

Persons attempting to find a "text" in this book wil lbe

prosecuted; persons attempting to find a "subtext" it it

will be banished; persons attempting to explain, interpret,

explicate, analyze, deconstruct, or otherwise "understand"

it will be exiled to a desert island in the company only of

other explainers.

BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR"

So, I will proceed in trepidation and fear, trusting he will never see my copy of the book or read this blog. I did not try to find a "text" in that book or interpret it. It has been interpreting me. I did not try to understand it. It has been helping me understand. If that gets me exiled to a desert island so be it, but I hope the other explainers there aren't the annoying ones.

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Fasting Reading - The End of an Era

I am almost finished with Jayber Crow, by Wendell Berry. I absolutely love this book. I am sure it is one of my favorites and will be one of my favorites for many years to come. It has opened my eyes to the idea that classics are still being written. As I read it, I feel that everyone else should, and that they will be missing something if they don't.

When I finish it sometime this week it will be the first book I have finished for pleasure in over 18 months. I realize that is ridiculous, but I have been fasting from reading. This fast of reading has been my way of justifying my disdain for reading after my three month immersion in reading and writing while finishing my Master's thesis in 2008. I have more accurately been fasting from reading and writing, and I sense this era must come to a close.

Reading opens my mind to new ideas and possibilities and truth and beauty and ways of living.

Writing completes the work that reading and living life begin. It helps me process and think and create and breathe deeply and reflect, and most importantly engage others in the process.

So, I am returning to both practices in some respect, although I don't know the extent yet. No goals, just a movement back toward a healthier balance of input and output.

In the past year I have read two books:

Tribes, by Seth Godin

I was asked to read this for the Big Picture Youth Ministry Training team I am a part of, and I read it all on my way to our meeting in Kansas City, and in my room the night before. It is good for what it is, which is a business book conveying how to spread your passion by finding a tribe who shares it and leading them (primarily through social media/internet outlets that are available today).

Be Out Guest, by The Disney Institute

Read this for the University. Learned a lot that we can apply to the university as a whole and the Admission office. The main thing I extracted was the value of story. I have been singing that song since I arrive, but the book and Disney World helped me understand how to take our story and find new ways to share it with those who visit us or don't visit us. Very good for any business to read as well.

BUT the best thing I have read about telling story is from Jayber Crow of course.

"Telling a story is like reaching into a granary full of wheat and drawing out a handful. There is always more to tell than can be told... there is also more than needs to be told, and more than anybody wants to hear". -Wendell Berry, Jayber Crow, pg.29

That Wendell Berry. He is so stinkin' good! He seems to hit on everything at some point!

So, 2 books for business in 2009... typical of my past year.

We'll see how that balance swings in the new year.

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The End of a Fast

CURRENTLY READING: Jayber Crow, by Wendell Berry

My Master's Thesis/Culmination Project in the Fall of 07-Spring of 08 drained me. It removed me from all writing, talking, sharing and even reading... unless it was for the project. I loved the project, but when it was done I had read enough books and written enough words to feel drained from both exercises. So I entered a fast. Not really a fast of discipline or one that brings honor to God necessarily... just a removal of a specific action from my life, or actions perhaps.
1) Reading
2) Writing (save for a Facebook post or Tweet)

Now, in all honesty I thought it would only last a couple months, or at the most 3-4, but it has been almost 1 1/2 years now and I am feeling the effects. My newish job as the Director of Admissions at my Alma Mater has made personal time hard to come by. Not a critique or complaint, just an honest observation, especially when my job is combined with my insatiable desire for community (which we have pursued at length here). Although time in community is "personal time", it is more about the investment in relationships than in oneself (although I am aware of how we sharpen one another).

The last 6 months I have become appalled at my fast, but incapable of ending it. I have slowly picked through Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry over the past year and a half. I think it was given to me as a graduation gift in fact. I actually LOVE this book and it is the object that compels me to write today, but I just couldn't remain consistent for more than 2-3 days or 1-2 chapters. As 2009 comes to an end I am sad to say that I have not grown very much personally in the past year. I have grown professionally in several ways, which I am sure are necessary, but my mind and spirit have felt somewhat weak to me and unchallenged... until lately.

Several relationships and gatherings of Christ-followers have stirred me this semester and confronted me with my current state of spiritual and mental slumber. I began leading a small group on campus of 7 amazing and honest guys (Ben, Joe, Tyler, Sam, Josh, Joe and Joel). We began meeting with 2 other couples (Kellers and Byrds) for a new expression of house church (a third family has joined us at times as well). We attend West Side Naz and are very committed to our relationship and weekly gathering with the Petersons (even when we are out of town on Sundays so often). In addition to this my other college roommates have been around much more frequently. Eric's new job allows him to stop by and pop in more often and Mark is staying with us for a couple weeks helping me out with some much needed projects in the office. They both naturally challenge me simply by their presence, just as they constantly did throughout all 4 years of college. The beauty of all this is I share each of these relationships with Kelly. We are sharpened by the same swords and challenged by the same friends. I love that about us. We truly are in this together.

So, why do I write? For myself. To get this confession written out. To hold myself accountable. To write it so Kelly will read it and know more clearly where I am and where I am hopefully heading. To share with anyone else who is still listening and explain the silence that has graced this page. To have at least a little creative output and write down words for my jumbled thoughts. Finally, to reactivate this page as a place I can share what I am learning through my reading...maybe just for Kelly and I this time, or maybe for others who may see that RSS feed turn back to bold...maybe this is the only post for the next year... hopefully not.

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