We're Having a Baby

Kelly and I found out that we were pregnant last Friday. It was confirmed by our doctor yesterday. Friday was the one year anniversary of the day we found out that we lost our son Elijah. I was out of town. Kelly took a test to begin this dreaded and dismal day. The second pink line suddenly appeared. She looked. Blinked. Looked again. Called my cell phone numerous times (I was in class and it was off) leaving 911 messages for me to call her. I called her on a break and we celebrated. We can't believe it! What timing. What perfect timing. The very weekend that we have been fearing, dreading, avoiding any discussion about... came and went with more to celebrate than to mourn. The Lord wanted us to celebrate life, rather than wallow in sorrow. This does not negate Elijah's death. It does not minimize it. It does not lessen its impact on us. It does not make it less meaningful for us. It simply give us life when we needed it most.

The doctor took another test and then transfered us into the ultrasound room. We thought we were 3 weeks pregnant. They told us we are 5 1/2 weeks pregnant! As we stared at the ultrasound of the "perfect, round, centered" embryotic sac the doctor saw something. The nurse and I peered in. There was movement where we weren't expecting it. We didn't know that it was 5 1/2 weeks old yet, but this confirmed it. The heart develops between weeks 5 and 6. We were staring at a "heart flutter" or "cardiac movement". I was witnessing one of the most basic, earliest detectable signs of new life... the formation of our babies heart. The movement or the heart, in its pre-heart form stage. It was amazing. It was life giving. It was real. I can't wait to share it with everyone... when I am allowed.