A Little Hesitation... a little

I preach in the morning and this has been the most difficult sermon preparation I have ever had. I never felt a huge inspiration, an overpowering spirit, an ah-ha. I spent almost all day Thursday and Friday reading most of Paul's letters, some of the Gospels and a alot of other Scripture just waiting for something to jump out at me and .... nothing.

Finally a friend said, "Maybe the reason He hasn't give you a sermon yet, is because there isn't supposed to be a sermon on Sunday." ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?

If I am honest, which I think I am, Sundays without sermons have always been my favorite, whether it is a kid's program or the Spirit intervening, it is just nerve racking to think that the Lord would be clearning the way for that, by putting me in an awkward predicament. I mean, what if the tithes and offering was collected, I approached the pulpit and then.... nothing... no supernatural presence... no instantaneous inspired sermon... nothing.

To make the long... shorter... I finally surrender through another 1/2 hour of lights off, music playing, face-down prayer to do whatever the Lord wanted.

Then tonight he gave me something. It doesn't feel like normal. It doesn't feel as clean cut, definitely not as "deep", actually really simple, but it feels REALLY right and a little scary, because once again... He has to move, since it will really suck if it simply my words.

I trust Him, but I guess the point is that the purpose isn't to make me look good. It is for lives to be impacted for the Kingdom. That could happen through me sounding, looking, seeming really stupid tomorrow. The question is then, am I ok with that?

I think so.
I hope so, because I have a feeling that it might be just what happens in some way.

My only comfort, Mary and Joseph were in the same boat. I bet most people thought they were a bit crazy spouting off that they were the proud parents of God. I bet that for many of those folks that never was resolved. They always thought the Joesph & Mary clan was a little off, and their Son was a little crazy. But, they followed the Lord's will anyway.

So will I, whatever that will may be.