+-+Family+Posed.BMP)
A few observations:
* I love my wife
* I love my daughter
* I love house church
* I love our house church
* House church is our niche
* I can't imagine...
* I love preaching in strange places (Kenton last week) to people I don't know. It is refreshing and exciting to meet new people and speak the truth.
* I love using my gift of encouragment and friendship more in district and local ministry areas.
* I love the eccumenical amazingness that is going on in Findlay
* I can't believe how much hope God has infused into our future
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* I am really into my job.
* I am a workaholic. It was not the church's nor God's fault. It is my nature, especially if I enjoy what I am doing... and get paid for it.
* I am very driven and assertive in the workplace
* I like responsibility
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* Sometimes I am confused about what the truth is lately
* Sometimes I feel a bit bewildered
* Sometimes I am afraid I could lose sight of "my call" if I weren't careful, and get too caught up in my work
* Sometimes I sense that I am too critical of others and other churches.
* Sometimes I feel that if I really shared my gut level feelings no one would like who I truly am.
* Sometimes I am confident I know nothing.
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* I found a lot of value in being on staff/a pastor/clergy. I have had to deal with the fact that I can't misplace my worth in that vocation any longer. I must find my worth/value in God alone. I just really don't know what that means half the time.
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I really didn't mean for this post to go half as deep as it did.
3 comments:
You are normal. I have some of the same feelings.
You will be fine.
Yeah...giving up the title and autonomy of the pastor/clergy role was very tough. I'm convinced that the majority of pastor types (including myself) are on a major ego trip.
I think you need to just let it rip, sir, and be 100% who you are, feeling what you feel, and not apologize for it. Let the truth that Christ speaks into you be the only affirmation you need, and all else be gravy. That's a pretty good place to be.
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